


There is nothing you could do (to make me stop loving you)

by Gigis



Category: Irondad - Fandom, Marvel
Genre: Addiction, Angst, Drama, Drug Abuse, Everybody is back, Irondad, Other, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Has A Heart, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 19:04:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17751701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gigis/pseuds/Gigis
Summary: Peter is smart. He really is. And he knows that this is not a good idea. It is stupid and,above all, Peter is smart.But lately, most of all, Peter is desperate. And nothing will stop him from fixing himself.





	There is nothing you could do (to make me stop loving you)

He feels empty. Mostly he walks around missing something, wondering if he lost it back when he lost his life. He remembers coming back very clearly, he remembers the way May cried on his shoulder and whispered sweet nothings (that really meant everything) in his ear. He remembers how Mr. Stark hugged him for what seemed like forever and then looked him in the eye and told him firmly “you’re not allowed to die anymore, not on my watch”. The thing is, he remembers all of that; it’s just that he can’t place the right emotion anymore.  
And sure, he feels happy when he is working on the lab. And he is comfortable lying on the couch watching movies with aunt May or Ned or whoever’s turn it is to keep him company so he doesn’t go insane. But he feels empty, like there is a happiness that he had Before and he can’t seem to get back.  
At first he thinks it must be Spiderman. He can’t seem to get back into the suit no matter how hard he tries. The thought alone is nauseating. But then one afternoon, while coming back from school he stops a robbery as himself, and he feels the thrill of doing the right thing, the power flowing through his veins but then it’s gone. Almost as fast as he found it. Ned seems to know that something is wrong because they hardly ever talk anymore. They sit around watching movies and doing homework but they don’t talk. He believes that May is just trying to give him space, she always said she didn’t know how to deal with the ‘super-hero stuff’ and she doesn’t know that the ‘super-hero’ died on Titan and that know he doesn’t know how to deal with the ‘Peter Parker stuff’. Mr. Stark is a little bit out of his element with Peter so quiet. He is treating him like he is made of glass all the while Peter is trying to figure out how to tell him that the web shooters they have been working on for the past month are not going to work because they no longer have a web-shooting hero.  
Needless to say, Peter doesn’t know what to do. He is falling behind in school, he feels far from his loved ones, he feels like everyone around him is treating him like he might just break and inside he just feels empty.  
On the news they all talk about ‘the snap’. About how it affected every aspect of our society. They have experts day in and day out talking about how those who stayed are traumatized because of the grief and those who came back are simply in shock.  
School is no different, everyone is asking a million questions but at the same time it just seems quiet. Teachers don’t know what to say when a student asks and so they, too, start to bring experts. Counseling sessions become the new normal and classes on healthy coping-mechanisms are shoved into everybody’s schedules. That’s how Peter finds himself in a lecture on “how to cope with being a zombie”. That’s not the actual name of the lecture but that is the vibe Peter is getting. Dr. Zombie is talking about possible mood changes and the likelihood of having mental issues. Peter isn’t really paying much attention until he says something that really catches him by surprise.  
‘ A lot of the victims are choosing coping mechanisms that are not healthy’ Dr. Zombie started while walking around the class. ‘There has been an alarming increase in drug consumption. Drugs such as crystal meth and cocaine are being used by a number of people because of their capacity to change a person’s chemical constitution for a while’.  
Peter is smart. He really is and he knows, deep down, that there is no way that doing drugs is the solution to his problem. It would be stupid to believe that doing drugs would get rid of the emptiness. It would be so extremely stupid and no, Peter is smart. He is incredibly smart. But nowadays, and for the past month, he is also incredibly desperate and there is nothing he wouldn’t do to be himself again.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Irondad fic. Please comment what you like and what you don’t. Also what you would like to see and any other request.  
> Feedback is appreciated


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